Hell Yeah: Punxsutawney Phil Says We are Good to Go

I recall that the only time I watched the movie Groundhog Day was mildly frustrating and semi-enjoyable. Yet, the effect of this year’s Groundhog Day results was highly anticipated. As a West Coaster, I could not set my alarm, wake as usual, and quickly check the anticipated outcome of our most famous national rodent: Punxsutawney Phil. 

The results are in, and if you trust Phil, and the conjured fanfare that is human spectacle at the hands of unassuming groundhogs, here’s what went down in Gobler’s Knob, Pennsylvania, this morning: Phil saw his shadow, and we’ll have six more weeks of winter. Which, any of us will tell you right now, is great news. If you don’t trust us, you can stream roughly one hour and twenty minutes of coverage straight from the knob. All I’ll say is that that groundhog looks mighty friendly and cuddly, and familiar. 

While the predicted six more weeks of winter are welcome news to any of us destroying our ski bases, it is also ample time for a pivot. If Phil looks familiar, that’s because groundhogs, Marmota monax, commonly referred to as a woodchuck, are a large ground squirrel and, get this, a marmot. The groundhog is considered a lowland marmot, while their relatives, the yellow-bellied and hoary marmots, are keen on the Krummholz and even higher alpine. While seeing a marmot up high is often a highlight to those of us who do not cohabitate with them in the alpine, I’ve heard horror stories from some Teton guides who bemoan their abilities to gnaw through anything and penchant to piss on prized tents and UHMWPE (Ultra-High Molecular Weight Polyethylene) packs.

Where does this leave us? It depends. And we urge you to keep the faith. As a data-driven and somewhat mystical tribe here at THR, the numbers are somewhat fuzzy. Groundhogs, and whatever other animal you want to be your weather prognosticator, aren’t that accurate. NOAA, our somewhat gutted national organization, has some data from numerous groundhogs with the qualifier that said groundhog has been prognosticating for a minimum of 20 years, and, as of February 2, 2024, is an active prognosticator. (The data are from 2024.)

Staten Island Chuck, General Beauregard Lee, and Lander Lil (hell yeah, Lander, WY.) all look pretty reliable. It gets shakier from there. Lander Lil is a statue, and several of the groundhogs are taxidermied. And, according to this data, the least proficient at prognosticating is a tortoise. 

That’s that. We can, at least for a moment, know that one groundhog on Gobler’s Knob has our backs.